Rediff On The NeT: Transcript of the Shobha De Chat


	HOME \| CHAT \| TRANSCRIPTS

CAFE
COM:PORT
CHAT JOCKEYS
EVENTS

The Shobha De Chat

amit (Mon Feb 24 20:53:04 1997 IST):

Ms SHoba what do you feel about these beaity contests like Miss India, MIss Universe. Do you think these pagents degrade women or put them on a pedestal or somewhere in between. Are these pagents good for women's image in general. Also how about the swimsuit Sports Illustrated issue in US have you seen it..is it good for women's image?

Dr S Krishnamurti (Mon Feb 24 20:53:24 1997 IST):

Dear Ms De, Apropos of your last reply..Isn't adoption an analogous thing to shopping at a sperm bank? I mean, even in the matter of adoption, parents do go `shopping' for a baby. But, as an adoptive (cum biological) parent myself, I can assure you that one is crazily fond of the child nonetheless.So why your futuristic apprehension ? Secondly, in a country of bride-burners, don't you think that some of your `incendiary' writings may have a boomerang effect on the plight of Indian women who start speaking up for their rights ?

Sajida (Mon Feb 24 20:53:24 1997 IST):

Tnaks, again. And who is your favorite female Indian author?

Kevin (Mon Feb 24 20:53:44 1997 IST):

Pramoda (Mon Feb 24 20:53:45 1997 IST):

Why is marriage becoming the focus of attention these days? Over the last three or four months - most magazines have devoted a chunk of their pages to this topic - Outlook, India Today and Femina are cases in point. Why is equality between the sexes suddenly under the spotlight?

kaveree bamzai (Mon Feb 24 20:54:19 1997 IST):

ms de, you don't answer questions as quickly as you churn out books. why is that?

Sajida (Mon Feb 24 20:54:38 1997 IST):

Thanks, again. And who is your favorite female Indian author?

amit (Mon Feb 24 20:55:03 1997 IST):

Guys and gals give Miss Shoba time she will get to your questions..she is human and cannot answer all the questions...

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 20:55:53 1997 IST):

Lavanya: The women I admire are the working women of Mumbai. The multipicity of roles they are compelled to perform would daunt anybody. They are not just capable but also courageous. Their daily lives have very few overt rewards, in fact what they undertake seems particularly thankless. And yet they are out there contributing equally to the family kitty. And rarely receiving any acknowledgement or recognition.

Sealand mog & co (Mon Feb 24 20:56:26 1997 IST):

Sorry folks, I gues we won't get an answer. The 'real' Shobha De is not into answering 'real' questions. Just promo the book, huh??? CIAO Nikhil, this has not been one of your better chats, keep the promotional ones out, and lets concentrate on more real-life stuff...I'm outta here really and for good, got to see a couple of people about a few ships and a farmhouse belonging to Sealand occupied by someone else, anyone we know in this room????? And we talk about ' Gandhian value systems'' (pukes and exits...)

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 20:58:37 1997 IST):

KAVEERE: The problem dear Ms Bamzai is that my speed on this chat show is beyond my control since I am computer illiterate. and have to depend on a very co-operative young man to key in my responses.

kaveree bamzai (Mon Feb 24 20:59:06 1997 IST):

like most events in your life, is this too going to be in your next column?

Sealand mog & co (Mon Feb 24 21:01:15 1997 IST):

bad and trak, as well as Bill Burns thank everybody else in this room for their patience. Linkup courtesy mog! It's the research that counts and matters....

amit (Mon Feb 24 21:02:42 1997 IST):

Ms Shoba>>since hwnen have you been writing novels? are your novels available in usa?

Anil (Mon Feb 24 21:03:04 1997 IST):

Hell Shobha ji

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 21:03:07 1997 IST):

Amit: I have absolutely nothing against beauty contests since no coercion is involved. A woman has every right to participate in one if she believes it is in her own interest . People who object to contests do not have to watch them, either on television or life. They have the right to object as much as the girls have a right to participate. I do not think contests degrade women at all. Beauty pageants are a career option like any other. You no like -You no see!

Ajiraj: Let me put it this way -- it is not something that preoccupies me. I like to think my personality intimidates men and reassures women. It shouldn't give them any kind of a complex. Since I'm on their side anyway.

Sajida (Mon Feb 24 21:04:17 1997 IST):

Thanks, again. And who is your favorite female Indian author?

Pramoda (Mon Feb 24 21:04:41 1997 IST):

Showblah (Mon Feb 24 21:04:42 1997 IST):

Hello Ms De, I am new to this media, but is it true that Indian women really do have access to electronic gizmos like this? I am from Sri Lanka and would like to know more how advanced women are allowed to be in India.Please tell me.

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 21:05:22 1997 IST):

Kaveere: You might find this hard to believe but there is life after columns. Though sometimes even I doubt it.

lavanya (Mon Feb 24 21:05:55 1997 IST):

Mrs. De would you ever allow your book to be made into a movie in bollywood?

Anil (Mon Feb 24 21:06:03 1997 IST):

Sorry it was Hello Shobha Ji Whats your opinion on Dowry

deva (Mon Feb 24 21:06:11 1997 IST):

Hi Shoba. I am just joining in. I have read some of your work. I am currently finishing off "Uncertain Liasons". I like your work. But I sense some hostility in your work. Don't you think that you are guilty of generalizing a lot? I mean - through your work you express YOUR opinion - and it seems to greatly be biased against men. Do you really think ALL men are like that? If not, then why is it that that doesn't come through?

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 21:07:23 1997 IST):

Showblah: I'm just back from your wonderful country and loved the experience . Yes, women in India do have access to computers, even if I'm the only dinosaur around who cannot use one.

Anil (Mon Feb 24 21:07:52 1997 IST):

Shobha Ji Whats Your opinion on beauty contests held in India.Are you for or against those contests.

amit (Mon Feb 24 21:07:54 1997 IST):

Ms Shoba> what are your opinions on dating? if you had a young daughter say 15 years old (I do not know if you have a daughter) would you object to her going out on a date alone with a guy? I mean no chaperones.

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 21:08:07 1997 IST):

I HAVE TO RUN NOW GUYS---LAST TWO QUESTIONS PLEASE.

kaveree bamzai (Mon Feb 24 21:08:14 1997 IST):

okay, i'm leaving now. only, i hope by next time you've picked up some computer skills.

lavanya (Mon Feb 24 21:08:39 1997 IST):

mrs. de it was a pleasure talking to you. thanks again for responding to my question. good luck with kids, family and books. bye

Hotu Chainani (Mon Feb 24 21:09:46 1997 IST):

How do manage to remain so o gorgeous???

Hotu Chainani (Mon Feb 24 21:10:07 1997 IST):

How do you manage to remain so o gorgeous???

Hotu Chainani (Mon Feb 24 21:10:24 1997 IST):

How do you manage to remain so o gorgeous???

Dr S Krishnamurti (Mon Feb 24 21:10:28 1997 IST):

Dear Ms De, I'm still waiting for replies to my earlier questions....

Sourav Sen (Mon Feb 24 21:11:08 1997 IST):

De, What is your objective in writing all your books, Is there something you hope to achieve ...........

Anil (Mon Feb 24 21:11:11 1997 IST):

Bye Shobha Ji Take care and Good Luck

amit (Mon Feb 24 21:11:49 1997 IST):

Hotu>she said sensible diet and exercise and gandhian philosophy. Ms. Shoba>> what do you in your leisure time(if you have much)

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 21:12:19 1997 IST):

Deva: My work is subjective and I do take a stand since I do not believe in sitting on the fence. A columnist's primary job is to initiate a dialogue and debate and express a definite opinion. I am not hostile to men, but I do believe that most men in Asian socities are smug, complacent, self absorbed and arrogant. Their world-view begins and ends at their belly buttons. You will agree that it is a slightly distorted perspective to put it my way. Surviving Men is a product of 25 years of concentrated and very interested man watching. If the views expressed seem biased perhaps they are just that. But hey....no bias -- no controvery and that's boring.

Showblah (Mon Feb 24 21:14:25 1997 IST):

Thanxs Ms De.Good luck to you. Please come here and teach our women to stand up too.

Sourav Sen (Mon Feb 24 21:14:31 1997 IST):

De, What is your objective in writing all your books, Is there something you hope to achieve ...........

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 21:14:36 1997 IST):

Amit: I have four daughters ages ranging from 21-19-11 and 8. I'm not their moral policewoman and I do trust the older ones implicitly . I haven't chaperoned them on any date because I have never felt the need to do so. But then again they didn't really start dating at 15.

amit (Mon Feb 24 21:15:26 1997 IST):

ms Shoba>> have a nice night..thanks for talking to us

Shobha De (Mon Feb 24 21:15:52 1997 IST):

This has been fun, but strenous . Its time to get back into my tub filled with vinegar so that I can continue to look gorgeous . Bye Guys talk to you soon.

amit (Mon Feb 24 21:16:57 1997 IST):

ms shoba>> is the 21 or 19 year old married? if they have a love marriage it won't disturb you will it

Anil (Mon Feb 24 21:17:22 1997 IST):

BYE BYE ! Keep Smiling :-)

deva (Mon Feb 24 21:17:39 1997 IST):

Well - let me ask you this. Your first two essays in the book that I just mentioned - seem to bring across a "survey" kind of atmosphere. But the techniques used to gather the opinions were very "informal". I mean - the conclusions that were drawn were TOTALLY based on your conversations with your friends and their conversations with their men/boyfriends etc. Why did you not use a more scientific approach to gathering this information? IE - conduct some sort of a proper survey - and give the men an equal opportunity to express their concern. I don't mean to be so critical - but being a man - I am only trying to say that there is another side. (I know you are running out of time - I appreciate your reply). thanks.

amit (Mon Feb 24 21:19:39 1997 IST):

Deva>> she may have already left

amit (Mon Feb 24 21:20:39 1997 IST):

guys what does she talk about in her books? does she put down men a lot

deva (Mon Feb 24 21:29:14 1997 IST):

amit>> her work is good and it is definitely needed in indian society - because it does bring a lot of much needed attention to the plight of women in our country. But of course in order to bring that across - she depends on portraying men as basically BAD people. and at least i know that i am not such a "bad" guy. :-) but that's my opinion.

Hotu Chainani (Mon Feb 24 21:31:10 1997 IST):

Bye Bye all the best, pretty woman!

Hotu Chainani (Mon Feb 24 21:31:10 1997 IST):

Bye Bye all the best, pretty woman!

Photographs: Jewella Miranda