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The Rediff Interview/D R Karthikeyan

'Everything that was possible to demotivate me was done'

Will the Bofors deadlock be solved?

Bofors what? The only significant finding in recent years has been that the suspected slush money, they call it commission, we call it slush money, was remitted in Geneva and was transferred to the Channel Islands in 1990 itself and within ten days was transferred back to a few accounts in Geneva. Now further steps are being taken to locate that and track down the money and find out into whose account that money has gone. I can't tell you anything more than that. I am no longer holding charge.

But Sweden's National Bureau of Investigation chief Sven Lindstrom said in a recent interview that his Indian counterparts are not interested in pursuing the case. Is it so?

No, they thought that it would be over but it is a complicated process. We were about to get the documents last month, but then the process is complicated and we have no role in it.

The Swedish investigator also said that as far as he is concerned the case is closed. He says that as per their law a case is closed within three years. Don't you think that there has been an inordinate delay in the Bofors investigation?

I can't comment on what happened before I took charge.

Shouldn't there be a time-frame for an investigation?

If you keep a time-frame the powerful parties can always get it delayed so that you close the case. Cases should be pursued vigorously till the logical end, it is not the time that matters. If you put a time-frame the powerful fellows can always get things complicated and after a year they can say the time is over so you close the case. The accused will always try to delay the trial. Does that mean that after two years the accused should be let free and the trial closed?

What is the threat perception against you?

For me the CRPF is the most trusted organisation and they took care of my security. It is not my concern, it is the job of the government. I have gone beyond the call of the duty. Many told me, you are a man from Tamil Nadu, don't accept it, give up. But it was duty for me. Justice J S Verma had told me, 'destiny has placed on your shoulders a task and irrespective of the fact that you have to sacrifice a lot personally and career-wise, you should finish it. You would be running a risk forever, normal life is gone and you have to work against all thankless people. Still you have to take it because it is so important for the prestige, security and integrity of the nation.'

Many in the CBI was offered the case on May 22. Madhavan told me this much later and I got it confirmed. Madhavan said he cannot handle it. Later they all told me that, we didn't want to do it and you were foolish to accept the case. None of them expected the case to be solved. If it is not detected then it would affect your reputation. If you detect it, it would be a deadly terrorist group. Either you will be killed or you are going to face this ignominy. Number three, which they didn't know, is that one had to endure two commissions of enquiry. And one commission really made our life miserable. And leading politicians playing politics in this, forgetting what the duty to the nation is. Throwing mud at each other became more important than.

With all this I got so frustrated that I went to Kailash Mansarovar on a pilgrimage. I came back with a lot of inner strength. I said, I don't care for these characters. Then I underwent a course in Vipasana and meditation and gained much inner strength. By and large people were with me all right, up to a point. Beyond that nobody was with me, senior officers of CBI or the ministers. The responsibility to ensure the conduct of the investigation and the trial was on my shoulders. I was kept going by this plus what Justice Verma told me. At every point they delayed my promotion and you know everything that was possible to demotivate me was done. So this process of Vipasana and meditation gave me so much of inner strength which no management school would have given me. Now when I go out I am absolutely at peace with myself with no bitterness to anyone. I am a totally philosophical man today, than what I was seven years back.

As far as security is concerned I have never felt any fear in my entire life. You fear only when you have done a wrong deed. Even earlier, I hail from a village and I never knew what fear is. Now as far as this particular matter is concerned I have not done anything untrue, unethical or anything illegal. My task was the pursuit of the truth. Find out who killed my leader, that is my duty also. And we have followed a path of scientific investigation and have booked people only when there is clear evidence. So my conscience is clear. I have not implicated anybody against whom there is no evidence and I have not left out anybody against whom there is evidence.

I know that they are a deadly terrorist group and that killing is their hobby. But I have no fear. But they are not mercenaries and they kill if they think they have to kill for their cause. I know them very well, they have commitment. They know very well that they have not been falsely charged. Okay, still they can kill, because you don't expect such people to be rational. They can also say that this fellow found it out and it's because of him that we are in serious trouble, they can do it. But the thing is, so what? Everybody doesn't get the opportunity to do what I have done and I am satisfied about it.

Their complaint is why should I take a personal interest when the Jain Commission itself could have scuttled the trial? In the process of doing duty so many men get killed every day. I am also holding a post in the CRPF, I issue cheques every month to widows whose husbands were killed fighting for the nation in various parts of the country. So what is so special about me?

What about your family?

There are so many other families that suffer like this. Fortunately my family also knows very well about all this. All of them have gone to Kailash Mansarovar, my wife, daughter and son, all have gone through the Vipasana course. Death will come when it has to. I believe in it. That is why you find me absolutely relaxed. I go everywhere, there is a restriction of movement all right. But you know I never live in fear even for a moment. Never. Sometimes I am concerned about my children because my son is still studying, has not settled in life. But god will take care of it. It is all a passing phase. In fact I feel that death is not an end in itself. Death will happen one day and now there is one more possibility of being targeted but that does not alter the course of my life.

People are ringing you up for your memoirs. So what next?

Lot of people have been asking me for quite some time, friends, well-wishers, ministers, judges and journalists of course and I have been maintaining that I would take a decision only 30 days after my retirement. Even the minister -- Rangarajan Kumaramangalam -- told me, so you don't trust me. I told him that I haven't even told my wife. It doesn't mean that I don't trust my wife. Even I don't know and I don't want to think about it. As long as I sit in this chair which has enormous power and influence I don't want any other considerations to affect any of my decisions, because there would be so many offers. I don't want any of that to influence my decisions. I have handed over charge. By May I will take a decision.

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