The Rediff Special
'Women are so self sufficient that they don't need guys anymore'
Ashwina Vakil
It's not a book about male bashing: it's quite an affectionate
book about men's foibles, meant mainly to shake them up, prod
them into taking a look at themselves, break through their smug,
complacent little world. Of course if I know guys at all, and
I think I do, the common reaction will be, 'this isn't about me
at all, it's about the jerk next door'!" She is right of course,
not many men are going to want to own up to the imbecilities that
Shobha has attributed to them.
But interestingly, while the book
is written with her usual acerbic wit, under all the fun and sarcasm
she has managed to hit upon some very unpalatable home truths
about men.
"Men have to realise that women aren't going to accept them
on the old terms anymore. The whole man-woman equation is being
renegotiated; women are so much more self sufficient than they've
ever been, they don't really need guys anymore. Men don't see
it in that perspective and it shocks them when they realise how
marginalised they are becoming. They go into instant denial! The
book is really aimed at starting a dialogue, there's no other
message. It's just an amused look by a woman who has seen life,
and who likes guys. I'm not antagonistic at all but I can see
them in a certain perspective, mainly indulgent and affectionate
but also very exasperated and impatient."
Needless to say, Shobha had a ball writing the book, in fact she
can't seem to stop writing it; every 'jerk" she meets provides
her with fresh ammunition, and she's driving her publisher nuts
with ceaseless requests to include new chapters and paragraphs.
Undoubtedly, the book has attracted the usual amount of
impassioned attention, probably more. Shobha,
of course, is ready to take it on the chin; if there's one thing
she's learned over the years, it's been how to survive.
For the casual and somewhat envious onlooker it might seem as if
Shobha De has led a charmed life. The common perception is of
a woman who 'has it all', a myth she is quick to dismiss. "I
don't think I have it all but a lot of the reaction (to her and
her books) has to do with that. They feel 'she has it all and
she gets away with it.' There is something about my whole package
that puts their backs up, there is a certain level of resentment."
For the past twenty-five years Shobha has been working on a persona
that intimidates not only men but also a large number of women,
who react often with venom to everything about her. For someone
who is fiercely supportive of her own sex, this comes as something
of a surprise.
Her latest book might lead to some bonding among
the women however. They are finally going to realise she's been
on their side all along. "I've noticed that it's always the
male critics who take potshots at me. The women critics have been
consistently supportive, if they haven't liked a book they've
said why, they haven't been petty. It's the men who resort to
name calling. It's very easy to put a successful woman down by
calling her names. It's the oldest trick in the book and men have
been doing it for years. It doesn't suit them to have someone
shake the status quo," she remarks bitterly.
Kind courtesy: Society
Shobha De will appear on the Rediff Chat on Wednesday, February 19, 2000 hours IST
(0930 hours ET), to discuss her bestseller. Be there!
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