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Dealing with warring, irate in-laws
October 13, 2008
Keep them apart. There's no polite way to put this, but if your parents and future in-laws are going to be at loggerheads all the time, just try not to have them spend too much time together. It's the easiest way to ensure some peace during the stressful time that precedes any wedding, especially an inter-religious one.
Talk to your fiance and make sure both of you know what ticks the other's parents off. Father-in-law detests smokers? Don't light up around him. Marrying into a staunch Muslim family? Keep that champagne bottle for later.
Do not, under ANY circumstances, lie to either your in-laws or your parents about sensitive matters like wedding ceremonies or the religious significance of things. The truth will come out someday, it will be seen as a betrayal and you'll find it very hard to make amends after a blow like that.
If there is a particular issue neither set of parents is willing to budge from, sit down with your fiance and take a decision. Don't allow the disagreement to go on and develop into a full-fledged war -- it's quicker to take a decision yourselves.
Be yourself. You're likely to be faced with some resistance from your future family, but persevere. Understand that their behaviour is not personal and if you stick to it long enough, the ice will most likely break.
Finally, if all this is just too much for you to take, forget having a wedding ceremony at all. Just take along a couple of friends to the marriage bureau as witnesses and have a civil ceremony performed. You can have a reception later. Just make sure you're above the legal marriageable age!
Photograph: Rediff Archives
Also see: The world's best-dressed celeb couples
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